As we sat under that mango tree behind his house, reminiscing about how beautiful life was when we were kids, how carefree and unafraid we were, how we could do anything without fear of failure. We were kids then, what did we know about economics and global trends. Of price of oil and writing CVs, who was concerned about rents and bills that comes with being adults... we were free! Free like a birds….
One thing was clear from the leisure conversation we were having, we were not satisfied and we know that there was something better... And like most young and restless adults, we just realized that we are stuck! Yes stuck in life! Stuck in the routine of life, stuck in the rat race, probably stuck in a country we do not even like, maybe stuck in a relationship/s. The lamentations and reminiscing of our nostalgic childhood just confirmed it.
And I asked myself, is this a feeling or fact? Am I actually stuck or do I feel stuck? To whom do I apportion this blame of feeling stuck? Someone has to be responsible for it. Anybody but me. So I ask my friend ... "Guy, do you realize that what we are talking about here just shows that we are stuck. What do you think is the reason for this and who do we blame for this? Our parents? the system? Infact it's the government! Yes, it's the government and their failed corrupt policies!
He stared at me like a hypnotic about to possess a subject and in a very low voice, almost like a whisper, he said, "No one but ourselves my guy" before I could open my mouth to protest, he continued. "We ought to be looking at how we feel, what we are thinking, and how we plan to respond. Our life is our responsibility. While we cannot always change what is outside of us, we can certainly change our perception of it. When we change the way you we look at things, the things themselves change."
I looked at his cup and concluded that he was getting tipsy. But he looked sober and I could see he was really serious about what he was saying, so I decided to listen as he explained further. "We feel stuck because we live in the past and feel hopeless and helpless for today and the future. We think of yesterday's bad news as if it was happening today. When we want to move forward in our lives, we feel stuck because we have one foot on the brakes thinking about the past.
Feeling stuck is a sign that it’s time to make a change. It's a sign that the way we are doing things is no longer working. And we desperately need a change. We feel stuck, cos we are waiting for something magical to happen. We dream of when the winds will change in our favor. We sit, hope and wait for some magical figure to appear and wave a magic wand like Harry Potter and make all the problems disappear." He paused again to sip from his cup, while I play Winky D's *disappear* in my head.
Then he started speaking slowly again,
"instead of embracing the present and admitting the change we need to make. We focus on our excuses more than our steps forward, we walk in a circle and fall into the familiar pit we call “Stuck.” He sighed.
And like someone in a trance, he continued, “My guy, if you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone else, you have already forgotten your value and you will always feel stuck. Don’t do this to yourself. In a society where people love to point fingers and poke fun, you can only fight social judgment with naked honesty. Sadly, we don't and we end up feeling stuck, and age faster than we grow, because we focus only on horizontal achievements. We spend much of our lives going through what society tells us ‘maturity’ is, we fail to concentrate on our own inner growth and goals. We never allocate enough time just for ourselves and our personal growth." He paused.
As I was silently digesting his deep words to me, he sighed and continue, "Guy, the truth is, if one door is not opening, you ought to have the courage to shut it and try other avenues and processes. A paid employment is not happening, why not try to harness that skill and potential in you. How about learning a trade? Oh no, we're too educated for that! And then we cry stuck. Poor grades in school, have you tried to study and do subjects that you really love and enjoy doing?
Instead of wallowing in self-pity and waiting for the society you grew up in, why don’t you look for a loop hole and make something out of it. Create something guy... Look at that Tesla guy for example.
We are stuck in a place or rather we feel stuck because we let ourselves stay stagnant. You want to come out of that hole, it is totally your DECISION to make." He took his last sip of drink and stood up to refill.. While I sat there, wondering and pondering.
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