After a lot of research, he found what he wanted to do that is aligned with his values and strengths. The very idea or thought of it energizes and motivates him. In his own words, it ignites something in him. Several months later, he is still sitting on the idea, he finds himself very confused on whether to move forward with his plan. Worried about the opinions of his friends and relatives, he finds himself attached to the little resources, status and prestige that his current business and lifestyle appears to provide him.
Oz is confused and clearly has a tough decision to make. It is never easy to give up the security and familiarity of the known nor to move into an unknown territory and unpredictable future. Oz has spent a lot of time wishing, praying, thinking and wanting. Oz can't do because Oz is uncertain and confused about the next move. But to get past this confusion, Oz needs to make a wise decision.(A very confusing thing to do). Confused, he sought my opinion to help him unravel things.
According to MedlinePlus, " Confusion is the inability to think as clearly or quickly as you normally do. You may feel disoriented and have difficulty paying attention, remembering and making decisions.Confusion may come on quickly or slowly over time, depending on the cause. Many times, confusion lasts for a short time and goes away. Other times, it is permanent and not curable. It may be associated with delirium or dementia."
If you have being diagnosed with delirium or dementia, kindly ignore the rest of the story and urgently seek for medical or psychotherapic solutions.
There are 3 stages in decision making,
(1) I hope (uncertainty)
(2) I believe (strong conviction or sense of security)
(3) I know (true understanding or truth)
A good decision is a journey from ‘I hope’ to ‘I know’ and confusion is a sea of perceptions, opinions, views, what-will-people-say and what-if-i-fail thoughts that leads to indecisiveness which produces overwhelming and frustrating feelings, making that journey a very difficult one to think of not to talk of beginning.
Confusion leads to avoidance. Avoidance leads to regrets and had-i-knowns. There is nothing worse in life than not knowing what could have happened if only you tried. Most people can forgive themselves for bad decisions, but not knowing what could have happened is worse because you will never know if you were right or wrong.
In avoiding whatever it is that we do not want to face or afraid of facing we avoid the truth, we avoid change, we avoid facing our fears, we avoid taking risks etc... We get so confused that even when the comfort zone is no longer comfortable, we avoid the change that is needed but find ways to adjust to it.
This illusions created by confusion cause so much discomfort that you forget that the truth is always inside you.
I told Oz that confusion is an indication that he has a decision to make which he is afraid of making. I told him to quietly reflect on his own. To shut up the confusing chatter in his mind and be bold enough to decide and follow through that decision that he made.
Most Successful people i know have this uncanny ability to make decisions, follow through their decisions or change plans and try again when that decision is no longer working , even in the midst of very confusing circumstances.
I am not a professor in confusionlogy (that is if anything like that exists) nor a master of anything in life, heck! As we speak now, I have a lot of confusing circumstances surrounding me, but what I am telling you is what I have experienced and what has worked for me, when I can no longer stand the confusing circumstances, when I am really convinced that this has to be done, I just find a quiet place, reflect and discern what fears I hold, what or whose opinion I am worried about and clearly define what needs to be done to achieve what I want and just do it. All the confusion really falls away when I start doing.
The uncertainty will be there, the fears will be there, I even remember the good old days once in a while especially when the going gets tough.. But all those can't stop a decision once taken and once in motion
So you my dear friend, Oz... You have a decision to make and an obligation to follow through that decision. Do that which you have to do and make yourself happy whilst doing it. Forget your fears and take the RISK. Who knows there might just be the Shining light at the end of the tunnel.
Your comments and feedback would be appreciated.
Constructive Criticisms are also welcome.