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  • #InspirationAsWeGo
  • Ra's Friday Story
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  Ndoreketa

Ra's friday story

What do you think you are doing? 

1/29/2016

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I believe it is still okay to say Happy New Year (That is if the year is still new…it is day 29 already, Wow!)

 My pastor once told a story about someone that just recently got a job, the way he told the story made I and the people around me laugh so hard, Infact we laughed so hard I was afraid my stomach will speak out to complain about it. But after the bouts of laughter, it  got thinking about all the decisions we make and will make on life issues. 

Paraphrasing the words of my pastor that day, he said, “when you walk up to me and mention that you just got a job in Lekki and before I jump and thank God for answered prayers, I will ask you how much the salary would be and you tell me 20,000, all excited and about to scream for joy again thinking you are going to be paid in foreign currency (DOLLARS OR POUNDS), I ask once more to be sure, if it is in either of this currency  and you say no sir it is NAIRA!!!!!; I'll Pause and  do a quick mental calculation of your transportation and feeding cost and you will probably be receiving from your employer a little over 6,000 NAIRA as you would have exceeded your salary based on different expenses before the end of the month.”

Laughter filled the air and I thought to myself, what was he/she thinking?  The truth is, the individual in question did not think the whole thing through before taking the offer or was  probably caught up in the euphoria of “getting a job”  or maybe this person has been out of job for a very long time and just needed to be out of the house. “Now, if you do not reside in Lagos, Nigeria let me enlighten you a little; working in Lekki which is situated on the Island especially when you live on the mainland would entail, waking up and leaving home very early, long hours in traffic and returning home late at night, high feeding cost (except you make your own meals from home which I do) and other associated inconveniences. So if you are getting a job in a location that drains you emotionally, psychologically, financially and practically reduces your life span ( now this is a joke i have made to express Intensity), PLEASE HAVE A RE THINK ; it has to be “worth it”.

In breezing through life, we are either caught up with trying to impress people we don’t even like or in competition with people who are not even aware of our existence. The gospel truth as expressed in a popular quote, is that, the only person you should strive to be better than is the person you were yesterday. Stop and think today on every area of your life as you make resolutions, decisions and set goals for the year; ask yourself one very critical question and answer it sincerely; WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?? WHAT DO I THINK I AM DOING?? Your everyday activity has to mean something; they have to contribute to your ultimate goal irrespective of your status as an entrepreneur, artisan or an employee. Some people are of the notion that you cannot chase your own dream by being an employee. (I disagree here, because I have learnt skills and do a lot of by the side stuff for extra income) but a person’s ultimate goal may be to climb up the ranks of a well-structured organization that leaves a healthy pension when they eventually retire, another may desire to enjoy the stability of paid employment while making several investments to cater for the future and all unforeseen circumstances. These achievements give as much joy and fulfillment as a person whose yearning and ambition is to grow an empire and is able to achieve it.

Other reasons why most people engage in jobs is for the experience and sustainability while working towards finding better opportunities , for exposure, to get into the desired industry, to save up for projects and to invest, to better themselves, to challenge themselves and many other reasons that serves to improve their lot in life...
 
One should not get stuck in a job, career or business venture for the wrong reasons or no reason at all. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer SERVES YOU, GROWS YOU OR MAKE YOU HAPPY or TRY TO IMPROVE AND CHANGE THE SITUATION.

So in conclusion dear readers, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? DO YOU FIND FUFILLMENT IN IT? DOES IT CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR OVERALL AIM IN LIFE? DO YOU EVEN HAVE AN AIM? ARE YOU LIVING OR JUST EXISTING? HAVE YOU EVEN GIVEN IT A THOUGHT BEFORE?

The Year is still new, you still have time to think through and make amends. 


Ogem is a guest writer from Nigeria... And a first time contributor to the  blog. 
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Yes my dear, you are what you think you are! 

1/22/2016

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I'm not a big fan of any form of social media groups. I don't know about others, but the constant subtle and sometimes, direct bombardment of other people's views and opinions on such platforms drains my energy, mentally, emotionally and otherwise. The everyday "good mornings", the unexpected and unnecessary hellos, the annoying and depressing trivial small talks, the never ending happy birthdays and the unsolicited pictures and images, not to even mention the time it consumes to be part of these groups... drives me to the edge.
But there are social media groups especially those with like minded people or those philosophical groups where people argue abstract issues that interest me.

You learn new stuff from the robust discussion on such groups and exchange different ideas on vast array of topics. 

On one of these "philosophical groups" , we once had a discussion about the word "belief",  its meaning and social implications.  O boy! What a heated debate it was!.... 20 minutes or more of robust and animated digital back and front, divergent views and opinions emerged like shadows hiding from light, until someone got inspired and decided to ask wiki (oh by the way, you can now add wiki page on whatsapp groups  just Google the number and thank me later) the definition of the word "belief". This answer made me forget about the whole discussion and its animated arguments.  It got me thinking in a whole new direction about what psychologist,  motivational speakers, religious leaders and everyone who has had a life changing experience  always talk about, but it seems that it looks so simple or so stupid(yep, some thinks it's a stupid idea)  that only a few understands their points and concepts. Let's be very honest, when life gets tough, who has the time to actually  think about what some wise guy on some boring social media platform wrote? or what the good pastor was saying on the pulpit on Sunday?  I mean what's a mindset when you're looking for money, when you're ill  or when you are out of job? Come on,  let's be honest here for once.. But before you say all that, let me show you how wiki defined belief... 

 " Belief" 

Belief is the state of mind in which a person thinks something to be the case, with or without there being empirical evidence to prove that something is the case with factual certainty. In other words, belief is when someone thinks something is reality, true, when they have no absolute verified foundation for their certainty of the truth or realness of something. Another way of defining belief is, it is a mental representation of an attitude positively orientated towards the likelihood of something being true. In the context of Ancient Greek thought, two related concepts were identified with regards to the concept of belief: pistis and doxa. Simplified, we may say that pistis refers to trust and confidence, while doxa refers to opinion and acceptance." 
 
So ya, this was the simple definition from a social media group, the same groups  that I often rant about(shakes head at self and shrug) and.. the reason for today's story.  

Often times,  it's hard to make people see that their beliefs, their mindsets is the main reason for all their problems and poor decisions which eventually affect them in so many ways and physically manifest in their lives.  According to that beautiful definition, a belief is actually a state of mind. Nothing more, nothing less.  It's a what you hold to be true. Whether it's factually and realistically true is inconsequential, you believe it's true and that's the end of the story until you start seeing the things you believe is true from a different perspective, it will always be true to you and manifest in that form in your life.
If you believe you are failure.. There's absolutely little anyone can do to make you believe and see life otherwise, you will make decisions like a failure, failure will reflect in everything you do. When you fail, you won't be able to see that you had an opportunity to learn from it and change it. You my dear friend reading this will unfortunately end up being a failure. And this is the fundamental difference between the rich and successful and the poor and downtrodden.
 
Of course you're going to cite and blame luck, chance, circumstances of birth, country of origin, country of residence, your village gods, spiritual powers and influence, economic meltdown, the weather, your mood, hormones, genes etc etc, the list is endless, but there's nothing in that list that someone, somewhere has not overcame to become the person you wish to be. Absolutely NOTHING! Infact, if we analyse it critically, some of them had it worse than you but with one fundamental difference.. Their mindset and belief was different from yours. They understood their circumstances and never doubted for a second that one day, they'll change it all. Even when they doubted, they never stopped believing. They worked themselves out and followed their plans. Some were at the right place at the right time because they were seeking for that change believing that it will happen. 

There's so much to say on this  matter, so much to write about, a lot of examples to give, but at the end of the day.. It's all up to you as an individual to change how you see things and be aware of those negative doubts and beliefs systems that no longer serves  you or contribute in any way to your growth as an individual. 

Reflect on your mindset and believe that you can change your circumstances and experiences in life by gradually discard all the negative belief system and mindset that clouds your life like a dark stormy cloud. 


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The Masters. 

1/15/2016

5 Comments

 
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This week one of the messages on #Inspiration AsWeGo was  ''You can't enjoy the benefits of a Master without braving the mistakes of a beginner" and it has lingered on my mind and had me pondering on how much work most successful people put in before they become what they are. A lot of people  have bought into media's portrayal of  'overnight success stories',  yet when you then  hear some of these individuals talk about where and how they started,you begin to understand that success, doesn't just happen overnight. As if the universe was conspiring to confirm that  message to me, I bumped into this picture of Dangote, the richest man in Africa and it sealed the deal .

It took him 30 years to become the richest man in Africa! 30 years. Three full decades!! I wonder how many people can be patient, persistent and strive so hard to follow their vision and goals. After that many years of trials, failure and disappointments. I wonder if I would be so patient.   

In this era of social media, we read blog posts, books and encounter success teachers, pastors and motivational speakers who claim that they can teach us how to “master” a skill or how to be rich and successful in only 10 days or even 3 days or the even more intriguing promise from native doctors we watch in African Movies who can turn around your fortune in hours , minutes and the more charming ones promise seconds. At some point  I believe it took at least 21 days to master a habit- not even excelling at it or 10, 000 hours to become masters in a trade but I at this rate I would not be surprised to see adverts on the papers and Web offering "instant mastery of skills, knowledge and wealth while you wait!"  

 Yet even I with this understanding will acknowledge that I am not where I want to be (career wise and on the social ladder) according to my own standards. The few people I look up to in this life I do not compare myself to them, I just use them as my inspiration, mentors and a Map. A kind of GPS system and it is ok if I get lost once in a while but then…. I am still me and they are who they are. Yet a consistent message with all these people is that there is  only one way to learn and perfect a skill or become  successful in anything I  want to master or even the wealth I intend  to acquire and that is  by DOING! 

 First, you must learn and there are many ways to do this-  by reading about it, listening to audio material about it or watching others who know how to do it, but whatever mode of learning works for you- it all then comes down to  starting to do whatever you learnt. 

Then you do some more. At this point, you will start to understand it.  Note that in the beginning there will be loads and loads of mistakes. People will even laugh and jeer at you, some would not understand, many will call you a fool and a waste of time and at this stage, if you really know how to follow your plans and discipline yourself, you would end up successful. It could take up to several months and maybe a few years…. But you must not give up, you have to do some more. After a couple of years, you will get fairly good at it. Whatever happens you have to keep doing and practice very often. If you learn from your mistakes, and are not afraid to make mistakes, you will go from good to great. 

 According to the experts and those who have succeeded in this quest, It takes anywhere from 6-10 years to get great at something or successful in a business, depending on the individual. (which reminds me of what a consultant told my partner and I when we first started business- he told us without mincing words that most businesses do not survive their first five years). Some estimated that it takes 10,000 hours to master something or perfect a skill, but personally I think it varies from person to person and depends on the skill and other factors.  

Want to be a great writer? It’s possible to be great within a few months, if you have the natural talent of Uncle Shakespeare, but most of us toil for over a decade and are still trying to get better. We are still learning to this day, and if we look back on our first few years of writing of any kind, we will tell you we sucked at it (for the most part) back then. And this cuts across all industries and fields.  Mozart my favorite classical composer, started composing when he was 11 years old, he made his first masterpiece at 23, I think you can do the maths.  You want to be a great business mogul? Remember how long it took Dangote.   

There is no one who is breathtakingly great at what they do who has not invested a lot of time and energy into their practice. No designer, no programmer, no carpenter, no architect, no surgeon, no teacher, no musician, no artist, no bus, no blogger really became an overnight success. If you know one, please link them up to me, we may feature them on #TheProcess but I am sure you get my point now. I dare you to name one.
Most have been doing it for over a decade, and are still looking to improve.  

It takes desire, it takes passion, it takes discipline, it takes consistency, it takes drive, it takes mistakes and failure and lots and lots of doing.  So do not get discouraged if you are just starting out. Do not compare yourself with those that have made it but use their story as a road map. Do not despair and disapprove of yourself or even look down on yourself, do not forget to have fun while you doing it like all successful people did in the beginning. 

If you have fun, you would learn to love it, and THAT IS when you start getting a hang of it. When you love something, you will want to do it all the time, sometimes late at night, sometimes in the middle of the day. Sometimes early in the morning before you even go to the bathroom. You dream of it, you sleep eat and talk about it. It totally consumes you.   

Find that thing you want to be a master of and start doing it, don’t just read about it. Don't just Google it or wish you can do it, don’t buy a single book or magazine or whatever it is that claims to teach you something in minutes, hours, days. They are not speaking the truth and most times with an eye in your pocket to collect the little you have. Yes I said it!  

 Do it, keep doing it, then keep doing it some more. 
And note that it is very okay to Fail and make mistakes……but when you do 
      *pick yourself up 
      *change your strategy
      *Revisit the drawing board





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Do not leave it to chance

1/8/2016

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​Compliments of the new season from Ra to you our esteemed readers. 

Since it's a new year, I was a little worried on what exactly to write about for you guys until a conversation with a friend on playing the lottery gave me an "Ah ha" moment. 

​I was actually making fun of her for playing the lottery, explaining how I think lotteries are for lazy people who are willing to chance success and not work for their money. This prompted her to narrate an interesting story about a couple who "nearly" won a £35 million  jackpot. 

Apparently, in the UK there's a lottery company that uses  an online system that allows one to play lotto online and the system "collects" £1 from an online account for every transaction or for the numbers that a player plays.  It so happens that a certain couple , just before Christmas, successfully  played  the correct six winning numbers. With so much joy in their hearts and the confidence that they're are millionaires in pounds sterling, they went ahead and partied like rockstars knowing  it was only a matter of days before they collect their £35 million winnings. 

After the Christmas holidays they went to collect their winnings. I could not help  imagine that they dressed in their best attire for the press and as new millionaires they just could not hold their excitement. Turns out when they got to the lottery offices to sign the paperwork and walk away with their money, they were told that there was no record of their transaction. Yes their numbers were correct but the system has not completed the transaction because they didn't have £1 in their online account when the system tried to “collect“ the money for their transaction. There was no money for them!! 

Personally I can't imagine how those people  felt. After spending all the money they had celebrating with the full confidence that they're now millionaires. I also don't really know how they felt knowing that something as negligible as £1 was the reason their dream of chilling at some luxurious hotel overlooking the beautiful tropical beach at some exotic island as they watch the pennies trickle in from their investment just went up in smoke like that,I don't even know who they would blame for this unfortunate circumstances that befall them, devil? Luck ? Providence? Some evil relatives? Computer error? System malfunction? The lotto company? The Internet?The partner who last used that account and finished all the money? The partner who chose numbers but did not check the balance? Either way there was no money.

From the terraces of this story we could easily cast blame on this couple yet our very own lives are no different. We live a lot of our life on assumptions. There are things we have done so many times , with time we start to just make assumptions that it will work out. There is a quote that says the devil is in the detail yet some of us never bother with the detail. We just assume that if we do the basics everything else will fall into place.  If we make it into a new year alive and with even the slightest desire to change or frustration with last years situation, in a new year all things will change. If we just go to work we will get our salary regardless of how much we actually work or create value. If we just show up for classes and submit something for assignments we will pass the course. If we just get something delivered to the client, we will make a sale regardless of the quality or time in which we deliver. We just assume it will work out if we just show up.

 We live our lives on assumptions and never actually take time to look into the finer details, make preparations, plan, project and forecast to see what obstacles and opportunities lie before us and our goals. Everything is taken for granted and when we meet that challenge, we end up failing to tackle it because we didn't see it coming. Or miss the opportunity completely because we didn't forsee it or plan for it and by the end of year, we would lament and cry about how the year 2016 was the worst year ever and how 2017 will be the year of restoration. 

As we make plans for the new years. Let us try to pay attention to details. Let us see that we have tried our best to cover all angles, forecast and plan for all possible situations and hope for the best. 
 


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    Every Friday Ra reflects on everyday incidents to share some extra ordinary reflections and learnings

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